A Random Interaction, More Meaningful Than Expected

don’t generally post about these occasional interactions that I have in the area where I work. My place of employment is right in the downtown core and surrounded by several of our city’s hospitals, several homeless and outreach shelters, along with student housing.

Due to the area in which I work, I often see homeless people either sitting on the pavement, sometimes asking for money, sometimes not. I will admit, more often than not, like everyone else in the city, I walk by without giving them a second thought. I don’t carry cash on me, so I wouldn’t have any cash to give to them, and if I did carry cash, I’d be broke because I would be handing out some of my cash.

However, I am also a human, and if I see someone who needs help, and I am able to provide it, I’ll do so. As long as neither of us are going to be harmed, I will step up if I can. And so this story is about one of those times.

The other night, as I was leaving work with one of my coworkers, walking down Yonge Street (I live and work in Toronto), I saw a woman with a walker trying to get up onto the sidewalk from the road. Luckily, she was blocked from any traffic being a threat as there was a large delivery truck blocking the lane behind her.

She was asking for help. People were walking by her. It was just after ten o’clock at night on a busy street. She was probably the least threatening person in the immediate area, and yet, standing with her walker up against the curb, she couldn’t get one person to stop and give her a hand getting her walker up onto the sidewalk. I couldn’t let that go, and so I decided to help her. My friend and coworker was a little surprised, but how much would it take to just give her a hand?

So, I went over to her and asked her if I could give her a hand. She gratefully accepted and I pulled her walker up onto the sidewalk, and then helped her take the step up onto the sidewalk. She was cold, her hands were swollen and she was shivering. She also wanted to smoke a cigarette, so I couldn’t get her to go into the McDonald’s right there to warm up. If I could have, I would have bought her a coffee and left her there.

But she didn’t want to go inside. She did, however, want to talk. I think she really just needed someone to listen to her, because though what she talked about was interesting (and in some cases devastating), it was pretty jumbled up and I didn’t quite understand everything. But that’s okay. Because I did understand the important things she had to say.

She complimented me on my shoes (a pair of teal green Vans, nothing special) and commented on the size of my feet (I have small feet for an adult — Size 4. Yes. I buy children’s shoes, but it’s a bitch when I need dress shoes).

She told me she had been picked up in the Sixties Scoop (a terrible period where government agents literally scooped up Indigenous children from their reserves and families and dumped them in the Residential Schools that have been making the news over the past few years with the discovery of so many unmarked mass graves or were adopted out to white families.

She told me she’d had a child, but that her child had been taken away and she’s never seen him.

Then she mentioned she had been adopted. I think she said she was adopted by a white family, but again, some of what she said got a little jumbled. Mostly, I think, from her being so cold and shivering.

Then she asked me a question I wasn’t expecting. It’s a question that isn’t typically asked of… anyone, really. Yet, it was a relevant question to ask me specifically.

She asked me if I am adopted. Who asks that? I mean, in general, do you ever think to ask someone if they’re adopted?

Here’s the thing: I was adopted. I was five days old when I was adopted by my family. My birth mother was assaulted and became pregnant. It was the 1970s. From what I know about her, based on her name, the area she was living in at the time of my birth, and a few other clues I had from the information I was able to get from her and the government, I believe she had been raised Catholic. And in the 1970s, ‘good, Catholic girls’ didn’t get abortions. So along came the baby she didn’t plan and didn’t want. I was put up for adoption, taken from the hospital where I was born (which is not the one for 40 some odd years I had thought I was born at — no matter), and brought to another hospital where my adoptive grandfather was able to somehow get involved in me being adopted by my family.

A little side note, in finding my birth mother, I also learned that she wanted nothing to do with me, and I respect that. Especially now that I know the circumstances of my birth. I won’t say I am not at all disappointed. I am. A little. But at the same time, I understand and respect her decisions.

Right, so I told this lady that yes, I am adopted. I explained a very short tale about that — simply that I had been five days old. She lamented that I had been ‘taken from my mother too early’. I told her not to feel bad. I was adopted by a wonderful family (I was), and I have a large and loving family (mostly true). She seemed happy about that.

Then, for some reason, she told me her birthday. March 26.

That’s my dad’s birthday. Yes, I realize it’s a coincidence. 35 million people or so live in Canada. Obviously, there would have to be someone, at least one other person in the entire country, who would share the same date of birth as my dad. There’s about 20 years between this woman and my dad. Which makes her only 10 years older than me.

It was just a little surprising that this woman, this random woman who I would probably not have given a second glance to had she already been up on the sidewalk, not only shares her birthday with my dad, but is also an adoptee.

She didn’t believe our meeting was coincidental and that she was meant to meet me that night. She offered me a prayer in Ojibway, which I appreciated.

We spoke for another minute or so. Well, she spoke and I let her say her piece. She was harmless, and clearly just needed a friendly ear for a minute.

Eventually — a minute or so later, I told her that we’d had a very long day at work, and needed to get home. She was appreciative for my help getting her off the road, and thanked me again, in Ojibway.

And I think, if I do happen across her again, I might buy her that cup of coffee I still feel badly that I didn’t initially offer her.

Maybe it's time to revive this lil' ol' blog.

 Thoughts? Should I? I'm gonna. 

Look out for a new post - coming soon - really, really soon. 

Are you tired of quarantine? I know I am

If you've followed the news at all in the last little while, you've seen that there are protests all over the US and in parts of Canada (my hometown of Toronto has a "bunch of Yahoos" protesting the lockdown) saying these emergency measures are unconstitutional, a violation of human rights, and so on.  There have been comparisons to the Holocaust, too. I think these comparisons make me the angriest.  In the ghettos, Jews and other 'undesirables' were not given any freedom of movement. They could not practice their religion AT ALL. They couldn't go and get food from wherever they wanted. They didn't have TV or access to movies.  In fact, for the most part, they didn't have food consistently at all!  In the camps, their movement was, believe it or not, even more restricted. They were told when to get up, when and where to be. Often they spent hours on line for 'roll call'. There was forced labour, starvation, typhoid, beatings, rape, torture, death.

We're literally being asked to stay home, watch TV, order food in or limit your visits to the grocery store (where as long as it's in stock, you can buy whatever you want). Yes, our movements are limited. We're only supposed to go out if absolutely necessary. To work, if you're in an essential role (I've been lucky. I'm essential enough to still be working - and getting more hours), to the grocery store if you absolutely can't order your groceries in. I mean, when I'm not at work and not sleeping and not doing something to take care of the house, I'm playing Fortnite (no, I am not actually a 12-year-old boy, but I do like the game).

It really sucks to not be able to go out to the movies when I want, or go to restaurants and have a sit down meal. I miss hanging out at the pub with friends, listening to live music sometimes. I was planning on going to at least two concerts this summer.  I have tickets to the HellaMega Tour which has now been postponed to 2021 for now, and I was planning on going to see AJR at Echo Beach.

I'm also supposed to be working for the Canadian Border Services Agency as a summer student (because I am confident that I did indeed get the job), but that's on hold until we find out what's happening regarding the border.  I think, for now, the border between Canada and the US is closed until the end of June. That still gives me July and August for the program.

What also makes me so angry about these 'protests' is that, in the US at least, many of them are armed protesters.  First, I don't understand why citizens need assault rifles. Second, I don't understand why they need to take them to a protest other than to intimidate people.

Another thing that really pisses me off is that I have seen signs at these protests (from the comfort and safety of my home, on the news) literally complaining that people want the economy open so they can go get haircuts or get their nails done.

So, let's all wait it out. Let's do our part to keep our communities safe. Stay home. Order in your favourite foods. Read books, play video games, hang out with your family.  We'll get through this, as frustrating as it is.

It's been a month since my last post

Here we are, May 12. Nearly a full month since my last post. How's everyone doing?

I was hoping to keep updating this blog daily, but let's be real, not much changes when you're living your life in lockdown/quarantine.

My city is still pretty much locked down. I'm still working, because I work in Security and our property is open, so I need to provide security. But my kids are still out of school and my husband is still doing whatever work he can from home, but since his office is pretty much closed, and construction is halted with the exception of essential builds, there's not much call for flooring. But he's still putting proposals together and doing what he can.  We're thankful that the government has stimulus cheques being sent out to citizens.  Both my husband and one of my daughters are receiving funds. I don't qualify, as I am still working full time.  And I consider myself lucky.

I've been thinking a lot about our neighbours to the south.  America, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON DOWN THERE?! Is your "president" actively trying to kill as many Americans as he can? Does he think it's a "hey, let's see who can have the highest death toll" competition?

I get the frustration of people wanting to get back to work or be able to go out for dinner or to a movie. I really do. I miss being able to go out. This virus might cost me my summer job and it might cost me my favourite volunteer job in the summer. It might mean the end of my baseball season before it even begins. But I also happen to like being alive and having my family living as well.

I don't understand these armed - ARMED!! - protests at state capitols!! I've seen a bunch of posts on Facebook calling for violence against the governor.  These are serious threats. Do people not realize that these types of threats can and are taken very seriously by law enforcement? People are getting visits from the police for things they are putting on social media.

In fact, I recently saw a thread on Facebook by a real estate agent who made a violent threat, shortly after the killing of a security guard at a Family Dollar store who was killed by a woman because he denied her entry to the store without a mask. He mentioned that "pricey ammo" is worth it, and that the only results he would show would be his Glock and his shooting range results. He lost his job over the post. And rightly so.

But seriously, what the hell is going on in the United States? Yeah, the economy is tanked. Ours has, too. But we're opening very slowly and very balanced.  In the US, Trump seems to be complaining that some states (Democrat-run states specifically) aren't opening fast enough, and yet those states (predominantly Republican-run) that have opened up are seeing increased cases of Covid-19 courtesy of relaxed social distancing rules. Seriously people. STOP TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER!

So, you've got gun-toting maniacs, unqualified politicians and a virus, all trying to kill you. Seriously dudes, your country is fucked. If you even survive this virus, you might want to take a long hard look at yourselves.

Hey there. How was your April 13?

Hi there! I know, it's been a few days. I've been working and finishing up some school assignments as my semester winds down.

Here are today's statistics for COVID-19 in Canada.

As of today (well, April 14), there are 25,680 confirmed cases of Coronavirus COVID-19 in Canada. 7, 049 were in Ontario, where I live. All of Canada has had 780 deaths, with 274 being in Ontario. But, 7,758 infected Canadians have recovered. So... there's that.

I'm still working. I will probably not have to stop mainly because I work in Security and even if the decision is made to completely close the hotel, we will still be needed to secure the premises.

I spent most of today (yesterday?) first, doing an online exam (I got an A, thank you very much) then playing Fortnite. I went upstairs around 4 to take a nap because I got called into work for 11 tonight and if I'm working overnight, I want to catch some zzzs before being up all night. I did not sleep very well at all and have been relying on caffeine to make it through this night. And I have another exam at 12:30 today (April 14). With that and one more essay due in a couple of days, my semester will be finished and I'll have just one more to go.

I'm still waiting, and hoping, that I will a) have been a successful candidate in the Summer Student Border Officer program I applied to ALL THE WAY IN AUGUST OF LAST YEAR and b) that the program will still run.  With social distancing and the difficulty in being able to onboard new employees, it's beginning to look like my summer plans are all going to be shot to hell. And that sucks. Because I was REALLY looking forward to working at the border this summer - probably at the airport. So I'm really, really hoping they find a way to keep the program running this summer because next summer I won't be eligible for the program anymore. But hopefully, I'll be working for them full-time. That's my plan, anyway.

Weather-wise was kind of a shit show. It was really windy and rainy all day, and then, on my way into work, it was snowing! I mean, not crazy snow, but it was definitely snowflakes. A flurry. Apparently, the US got slammed with storms. Which can't make social distancing and self-isolation easy when hundreds of people lose their homes to tornadoes.

What else happened? Trump used his daily briefing to declare himself King of America and stated that only he has the power to re-open the economy and basically force states to open. He doesn't. He really needs to read the Constitution.

I don't know if Trudeau did a briefing because his briefings are never controversial. But I know if he did he basically said "things are still shit, we're doing our best, Canadians are amazing (because we are) and keep doing what you're doing. We will all get through this together." Something like that. I think the fact that the only thing there is to report on is coronavirus is the reason that the TV in the staff cafeteria is turned off.

What are you doing with your days and nights amid this unprecedented set of events? Did you pick up a new hobby? Are you okay? Do you need someone to reach out to, even if it's just to vent about the situation we're all in? Feel free to hit me up in the comments.

Good morning! April 5, 2020.

So, here's the Canadian COVID-19/Coronavirus news for today. For your information.

13,882 cases of confirmed cases of Coronavirus.
2,604 have recovered as of today.
In all of Canada, we have, so far, had 233 deaths.
This works out to about 293.92 cases per 1 million people in Canada.

This is not all horrible news. It's not great, but it's not as bad as it could be, either.

In Ontario, we have 3,630 cases as of yesterday (April 4, 2020), which is about half of Quebec's 6,997. So far, Nunavut is the only province or territory to see 0 cases. Let's hope it stays that way!!

Some of the interesting things I've heard in the past few weeks, as we run low on things like PPE, hand sanitizer and vital medical equipment is how technology is coming to everyone's aid. And how low-tech solutions are also being put into use.

3D printers are developing emergency ventilators. These are being developed in Spain. However, these are being put into use in a worst-case scenario.

Colin Hanks (Yes, Tom Hanks' son), has his own company called Hanks Kerchiefs. On his Instagram account, he shows how to turn his kerchiefs into masks to wear outside. Presumably, this can be used for any kerchief (bandanna). But he has some really cute designs.

So, how have you been handling your quarantine, social distancing, whatever you want to call it?

For me, I've been playing obscene amounts of Fortnite and Fallout 4. And just started Red Dead Redemption 2. My sleep schedule is a bit messed up between working 11pm to 7 am 3 days a week and 7 am to 3pm on Sundays. I try to get some normal sleep from Thursday to Saturday nights.

My kids start online school tomorrow and are actually looking forward to it. Which is great. Because I haven't seen one of my kids in about 2 days since she's holed up in her room. Maybe I'll be able to convince her to use her computer in the kitchen while they do school.

Other than that, we're taking each day as it comes and staying as safe as possible.

How about you? How are you doing?

Coronavirus Pandemic 2020

My original intent for this blog was to reach out to people and see how their days were. Just the regular kind of "hey, how's it going?" I was going to post about my day, and let other people talk about theirs in the comments. But I think for now, while the premise is the same, I'm reaching out to see how people are dealing with our current new reality.

Are you stuck at home with nowhere to go? Need to vent? Please do. I'll try to answer everyone.

So, here we are. Today is Saturday, April 4, 2020. I went to bed at about 3:00 this morning and slept until just after 8. So, 5 hours of sleep. I mean, when you're stuck at home, I guess you don't need too many hours of sleep?

I've been spending most days playing insane amounts of Fortnite (I made it to Level 133) and avoiding doing my homework. I'm in school full time trying to make a career change, but this pandemic closed my school, so my remaining weeks of this semester are all online. The bonus? No uniform!!

I'm lucky that I still get to go to work. I work in Security at a hotel, so we are required, even if the hotel winds up having to close its doors. Though it seems that won't happen, regardless of any new closures that the government decides to impose to try and stem this spread. If we do have to close, we'll go from one security associate on to two per shift. Right now, all our shifts are solo.

My kids are bored. To the point that they sleep most of the day and we don't really see them at all. They're teenagers, so... no surprise there. They get to go back to school on Monday - online. One kid is excited because she is just that bored. The other seems ambivalent.

The news is never good when it comes to covering the pandemic. More infections, more deaths and just a lot of sadness.  But you know what? In a few months, as this starts to pass and we're able to go back to some semblance of our normal life before, we'll be that much more grateful for the things we took for granted in the Pre-Covid-19 days.

I will say, that although I do not like the Premier of my province, Doug Ford, I can not find fault with the way he has led the province through this crisis. He has been open, as honest as he feels is appropriate, and has been a true leader.  Even Trudeau has been pretty good. I still wouldn't vote for either of them again, but I can't fault their leadership. Not much, at least.

Okay, I think that's enough of an introduction. I have two essays and a brochure to write.

Stay safe, stay 2 m apart, and stay positive.

Cheers!